Today I realized I'm getting old and I still act like I'm 12. Time to implement some change in my life!

My Ignorancce

Discovering my ignorance in World Geography, I have decided that this summer I will attempt to educate myself so I will be more aware globally. At this time I'm also itching to read on some mass conquering figures of the past world like Alexander the Great or Genghis Khan so that hopefully I would learn about the past and the present.

I also want a World Map so that every time I find myself ignorant of a place or unable to geographically locate something I can whip out my gigantic world map, spread it on the table a la pirate/conquering figure style and search through it wildly like I'm on a quest. I feel as if this will help me learn much better and there will be a greater sense of drama and suspense as I discover new places.

Arr!

Abnormal

Alternating between feeling apathetic and full of dread this week. I haven't completely caught up to real world yet and I'm in between "what-does-it-even-matter" and "oh-my-stomach-feels-so-queasy-and-scary".

It's that kind of dread where you wake up in the middle of the night wondering if you had a paper due the next day that you forgot and your stomach flip-flops even after you realize that the paper is due next week not tomorrow.

Or that hanging feeling you have while treading water but you're oh-so-tired and everything below you is so deep and dark, and could that possibly be something moving underneath yo--SHARK! feeling.

Ah, give me the life of the robot. My laziness knows no bounds.

Anyway, while I'm here to clear up thoughts, let me make some quick resolutions for this year.

1. Eat more healthily: more water! more fruits!
2. Think more carefully before I speak
3. Attempt more art

*I really should at least accomplish one of these in this year...

Wonderful felted things and other stuff

So... I did end up doing felting and therefore did accomplish a goal last year! Yay me! Except after 3 days of straight on felting my arm started getting all achey from nonstop stabbing. Therefore I have taken a long break from it. Anyway, these are the creations I have made:

Unfortunate mishap and Owl

 The first creation I made was the owl. It took me quite a while but it turned out decent, I think. The second one is that white anomaly beside the owl. He was an unfortunate mishap. I gave him away because I didn't feel like he could be properly loved by me. The squiggly on his face was supposed to be a mustache. It was supposed to save him from his odd ears, except now he looks even odder. Sadness...

The Gang

So these are some more of the felted creations I've made. The owl is still the same owl from above but I felt like he would make the picture look better since he's the most normal looking one. *sigh...

Pretty Cups!

Pretty cups that were really cheap and nice I got at the Micheal's Art store where I was hunting down felting materials. Unfortunately there was none to be found. I feel lied to by the Curry's art people who specifically told me that there would be felting materials at Micheal's! Now I feel as if they don't know their stuff. :( And you think they would! 

Mr. Pirate Parrot

And this is a Parrot I saw at my chiropractors. I fell in love with him instantly because he looked all lonely and bored. Now I want a Parrot! I'm so easily impressed and persuaded. 

Clarity

Two nights ago I had a great talk. It was good for me because I had let my mind go autopilot and stagnant for so long. I feel as if I have a new direction now, or a start of something better.

I've also had more urge to draw now which is also good because I haven't doodled for so long. I'm easily inspired, easily discouraged, easily pleased, easily disappointed... so at least right now I'm in a more positive mode of mind.

Here's hoping for a better year for all in the coming 2011!

NEW GOAL!

I want to learn how to felt. I NEED to learn how to felt. I will do it this Christmas. I WILL!

Then I will make more Owls, and I can make a family for MOSES!! :D

It's a HOOT!

And today I bought an owl keychain to make up for not being able to own an owl as a pet in Canada. This is one thing I can cross off my life goal list now! :)

I own an owl, he lives on my phone, and his name is Moses!

I think he is ADORABLE.

On a roll!

I'm intensely pleased with myself over school lately. I mean, I'm not doing stupendously, but I'm doing stable-y good. Like not-bad-at-all-but-not-great-but-awesome-in-terms-of-me good. So that's an upper in life.

Now I just need to figure out how to pick up myself in other parts of my life now.

What I am

I'm proud of me this week. I'm doing much better in school than I thought.

But on the other hand, I am entirely lacking in other aspects of my life.

I think I worry my mother too much, and my lack of caring about myself makes me worried too.

But working up an effort to care makes me feel aggravated. Why can't I be the me now? It's not the healthiest me, but it's the most comfortable me that I've come to know.

Buy me a forest and a library and I'll love you forever. That's all I need.

but you know, without the bugs... and all. thanks.

ARRRGH!!!

I want to be able to touch my *toes*!!!!

(at least by the end of the summer). :-/

More goals

So here are more goals to add to my 101 list that I must complete by the end of 2010.

14. Make a sock puppet

15. Read the news more

16. Watch the news more

17. Become more aware of current issues

18. Implicate social justice

19. Learn better vocabulary

20. Name my three cacti

21. Draw on a rock

22. Return Sarah's DavenBuster's gifts to her

23. Be a better friend

24. Meet more people

25. Be more confrontational

26. Listen more

27. Love better

28. Be more grateful.

29. Be more thoughtful and reflective

30. Read more books on theology and spirituality

31. Read the Bible (this goal will later be changed to add subgoals including chapters of the Bible and deadlines)

32. Understand my parents better

33. Be more honest

34. Give without expecting to receive

35. Try to finish things

36. Get my Machiavelli book back from David

37. Get my Ender's Game book back from the kid

38. Watch more historical movies

39. Read a famous person's bibliography (like Genghis Khan!)

40. Earn enough money to cover my trip to HK and to tide over so I can cover any other fees in regards to the trip.

41. Go somewhere out of Canada. (yeah, this goal is weak, but whatever)

42. Exercise more

43. Learn Mandarin

44. Judge less

45. Drink more water

46. Watch the shark documentary. Or watch more documentaries in general.

47. Buy a pretty thermos

48. Finish Ryan's Munny

49. Be more punctual to church

I can't stop blogging. I guess it means I have no one to talk to.

I need more friends.

Blog Craze and fishes

So ever since I got a blog... ah, like three hours ago, I just can't stop jotting down my thoughts. ACK! What am I going to do without internet then?!

Anyhow, I have more goals:

11. Drink more water
12. Draw my fishies
13. Talk to my fishies.

You see, recently, I have been communicating with my fish. I find it very comforting because they seem to have such character. I have five fishies now. 3 goldfishes and 2 sucker fishes. The three goldfishes are named Moses, Noah and Goliath. The huge one is Goliath. He's actually quite genial, although very greedy and hungry. Yet it is Moses who is the leader type, very type A personality. Noah is bland and a follower, but he's got some lovable traits in his indecisive and quiet personality. AHAH. I just called my goldfish quiet.

Out of the two sucker fishes, one is named chu, for the chinese sound suck. Ok, it would be more like chuut. But whatever. The other is unnamed because I can't remember what I named him. He's not very important anyway, because he is very boring. But I think that is why I like him, because he is boring. Boring people are so interesting because they are boring. You rarely meet boring people since everyone has their quirks, that is why boring people are the most interesting people of all.

I mean, what makes them so boring? That is a fascinating question! Their bland, banal personality marks them as almost benign, which I kind of like. Since they are so pleasant-like. Anyhow, haven't really met someone like that, so that is why I like my fish.

I also like my fishes this time because they are so active. Well, the goldfishes are. They're always freaking out when I come near them. I guess I like the idea of having power, so when I scare the fishies I feel especially powerful. Like a strong threatening leader of their Atlantis village. HAhhaa.

I must be secretly power hungry.

Anyway, I wonder if I can teach fishes tricks? Or make them grow larger by talking to them?They must be so bored. I really like watching them, they are so calming and somewhat relatable. Their swimming is so frantic and crazed. Whipping their tails in circles, churning the water with nervous energy. I like that. They're so desperate in their swimming that it makes me think they're so eager in their living despite how small their hovel fish tank is. It gives them a frenzy for life. And sometimes I think they're trying to get out.

Watching them is calming to me because it reminds me that humans aren't the only ones struggling with life, that fishes have their desperate, crazy moments too.

That is why I really like them.

They have guts and spunk!

They're not like the past fishies that were so lifeless and limp. These fishes are fighters. Possessive of food, crazy for attention and so very frenzied.

Urgh. I have so much to type. This blog is extremely cathartic. I love it.
I shall end it here just so I can start a new post later and label it nicely and organize my thoughts better.

101 goals

I feel inspired today, so I decided to make a blog to host my 101 goals.

1. To learn how to knit.

2. To learn how to crochet.

3. To find out the difference between crochet and knitting.

4. To crochet a flower.

5. To read at least 3 books on my book reading list.

6. To challenge myself at least once a week.

7. To write a short story.

8. To draw a small sketchbook/diary entry once a week.

9. To blog at least once a fortnight. (finally! I get to use the word fortnight!)

10. To compliment one person per day.

Haha. I think I got too ambitious. Let's start with ten goals and expand it every once in a while then?

I miss blogging.